Appreciate Little Things

How good is it to live for the little things in life? What about watching sunrises and sunsets where you’ll see the sky changing color? Or perhaps take a simple road trip and enjoy some leisurely bike rides across the countryside? And there are days when you’re surrounded by your favorite people who make you realize the world is not cold. Don’t you think it sounds amazing?

Society somehow gets you to believe that winning is something bigger and grander. That’s the reason you’re starting to purchase more—a large house, an expensive car, brand new accessories—and we’re always having desires and feeling grateful for something bigger. Falling into a trap, we paradoxically can’t survive without those extras, and foolishly believe that life is meant to be that way.

I see most people get upset when they don’t accomplish something significant; others even lose hope when even the little encouragement they didn’t hear. In that moment, they lost themselves, forgot all their effort, and sacrificed trying to get here today.

I remember once volunteering in one organization. At the nearly end of the term, we had an event called NLDC, and at one point, a host speaker questioned everyone, “What do you think is the biggest achievement of joining this organization?” People have varied ways of describing their achievements since, of course, there are many big things we have done. Only one girl claims her biggest achievement is to be a member of this organization. “I had never dreamt of being here.” Says she. And everyone in a hall went for a silence.

In 2023, there was a female Cambodian runner at the Southeast Asian Games; during the 5,000 meters, she kept running and was being soaked by a rainstorm. She didn’t won the race, but her determination to finish the race anyway won her nation’s heart. When a reporter asked, she said, “I knew I could not win, but I told myself that I shouldn’t stop.”

That tale really touched my heart. Most people don’t really care that you tried; they only celebrate when you succeed. There are many of us who are willing to do great things, but few of us are willing to do little things. Never lose sight of the fact that great things are done by a series of small things brought together.

Life is exclusively simple. And those simple things already existed; all you need is a little concentration and excitement to cheer with them. Tell you something: I still get wildly enthusiastic about tiny things. I watch the sky, I play with the wind, I smell the leaves, I unslept to see fireflies, and I follow ants as they stroll in line. Tell you something more: the peeps always tease me, like, “Is this your first time on earth?”

You may touch the magic of life when you are aware of where you are at any given moment. The world is a huge beast, it will frighten you, it will discourage you, it will make you want to give up on life but when you start value the small things that happened in your life, it will be the most beautiful thing you’ll ever discover.

A Smile of Stranger

Her eyes on meatball, sticking with chopsticks then put on a sauce.

Music plays in foreign language!

She opens her mouth with utter amazement. “I don’t even understand but I like this song.” Talking to her friend in the absence of looking.

Different table but we’re nearby.

I quietly whisper thinking only myself can hear. “As same as I like you without even knowing your name.”

She’s staring at me immediately. I’m sitting still trying to avoid of being seen. And she starts smiling.

She smiles a whole day, I guess.

Back to Reality

This is fairly typical behavior of me that I distance myself when too much has happened. I knew better days are coming, not today and probably not tomorrow, but one day. I just need a little more time for myself, been afraid of crazily doing stupid thing whenever I go out and talk to people. For these three months, I try to avoid of being seen as much as I could. My thoughts were destroying me. I tried not to think but the silence was a killer too.

Dark circles around my eyes tell me I should get some rest. At any point, I really need someone who can talk. But I never brave enough to say such a thing. As if the more we are saying things, the more things are left unsaid. Always push myself to get drunk so I can blame it on vodka. And my heart aches thinking that there are too many people with too many words trying to express every corner, yet we are left with stories still unsaid, with silence still unacknowledged.

I knew I am not the only one. I saw sad people smiling, showing cherish moments, but secretly praying for a better tomorrow. When people don’t express themselves, they die one piece at any time. You’d be shocked at how many adults are already dead inside – walking through their days with no idea who they are.

Someone told me, life never stop getting harder. We just have to change our perception. I felt that. I choose to face the reality, and so that I can express my thoughts through my writing. I ain’t a good writer. I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart. But I never experienced of being loved back. Hoping my broken stories; one way or another; could motivate someone, or at least, I can dream about it.

Forgive Me! I Want to Get Lost For A While…

Door locked, curtain closed; it was just me in my tiny messy room. Afraid of lights. I lied down; unable to move; knowing my heart still beat but I found it’s hard to breath. When it is dark empty here but everything seems to be colorful. Guess I’m getting upset but I didn’t. I didn’t feel sad anymore. It is just silly that my life has been struggling more and more. Too much has happened. Been quietly telling myself I am alright.

The 24th of June, I cried. It was heavy and I can’t hold it tight anymore. And I was getting sick a day after.

I get to work as normal. I don’t fake smile this time. They say, “What are you?” Creepy as hell! Can’t they just ignore me?

A meal a day, junk food. I can’t tell how it tasted. Not that I am not hungry but I don’t have an energy to just sit down and eat.

I don’t know if this called independence or loneliness.

Happy? Always convincing I am.

Why is it hard to cheer myself up? Is self-motivation being cursed?

Fishy or not, the thought of telling my problems to people scared me. Thought of getting some heals when I write.

Big Boys Don’t Cry

It is completely and utterly normal; indeed part of being human; to feel a bit low sometimes. However, we’re more wired to experience negative emotions than positive ones. And the worst part is, it is in need of treatment otherwise it would lead to something more serious like high-functioning depression.

In this case, society tend to put more pressure on men since men was thought to be strong as solid stone nothing can break, ironically, this stereotype confused thing since the beginning. We all know societal norms have bad impact for men to ask for help. Just like in Hollywood movies, men chose to killed himself rather than begging for life. Although there is targeted support now for men, help-seeking behavior such as talking to someone about their difficulties is still far lower. The bad sad truth is, people I know continue commit suicide over explaining sh*t they’ve been through. Sigh…

For men out there who’s fighting your battle alone, we’re on the same shoes. I’m going to write some kind of self-healing tips since we can’t speak out our pain. Therefore, as a protective factor for both physical and mental health- dust off your legwarmers and try some of these tips.

• Self-talk. Sounds silly but I do it all the times. We’re all need listener and it’s always good to have someone we can share things with. Sometimes, I talk to the sky, sunsets, dog or cat. Trust me, it helps a lot.
• Create a “Good Times” folder in your brian. We spend most of our times alone ’cause by meeting people, we’re afraid to be asked “How was your day?” Nothing feels quite right, but it is better to say I’m fine rather than explaining why it’s not. Since we enjoy our lonely moment, we notice as many as details about the environment, so the “Good Times” file is a pleasant sensations that we can revisit at a later point in times.
• Music is another powerful way to activate feeling of anxiety. It’s also enhances inspirations, strengthens meaning in life and can get your body moving. Not much to say, I knew you have your own playlist.
• Reminisce with photograph. It doesn’t matter whether these are old-fashioned, printed photos or galleries on your smart-phone. The important thing here is to connect with the past through photographic images to remind us how far we have come.
• Get a hobbies. Anything that can transport you to a particularly comforting time; cycling, swimming, reading, writing, cooking, or even go to the gym. Whatever to bring you back to feeling warm, safe, and cared for. Not only when things get tough, but on a regular basis to soothe a frazzled modern mind.

By practicing these tips, keep in mind that it not always gonna work, but give yourself a try. By tuning into positive events, you will give yourself a gift for future tough times and truly appreciate life in the present.

Never give up on life. Keep fighting your battle. Believe in yourself. Whatever it takes, don’t ever think of committing suicide. Just don’t!

Buy A Dog Or Pet the Stray?

“Buying an expensive dog and ignoring stray dog doesn’t make you a dog lover.”

I am 100% sure you’ll probably see this expression somewhere before; but my people; we can’t shame someone’s just because of that. Supposed you saw a kid on a street, you can’t claim that you are the one with no heart for the fact that you didn’t share your house and adopt him. No one can control everything. That’s how the world spin. And I don’t want to be a narrow-minded person here, but sometimes I can’t calm myself down.

Considering this, apart from buying a dog for adoption, why can’t people just pick the stray one?

Breed dogs look good, but that’s what society shows us. There are many reasons not to buy breed dogs, and the picture of them are far worse than what we have seen. I am not against having breed dog as a pet, but my point is whether breed dogs or stray dogs, they both should get equal love and care. And when you pay attention only to the pretties; that is not love, you just satisfy your obsession for what is good-looking.

Every dogs are being tortured while breeding. Forcibly impregnating them and putting them through physical discomfort; I hope you understand how cruel it is. Taking this into account, buying from breeder destroys the chances of a dog to get to live and experiences being part of a family. In case this post reminds you of a brutal monster who had ever separated anyone’s family, forgive me you must! Incidentally, when you buy a pet from breeder, you encourage them to make more. Sigh…

Once again, real beauty comes from within. That’s exactly appearances of the dog doesn’t matter. By adopting stray dog, you will experience absolute soul satisfactions, you will experience what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. And you save a life! You will have a strong and healthier pet because they can survive easily in any condition. The world have treated them poorly already, imagine how adorable they’d be when they are being taken care of. And if you really need a family member, why does type of dog matters?

Sleeping after a huge meal

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a dog lover. I just feel bad when most of the time, we couldn’t identify between love, like, and hate. I would have feel bad if I did’t write this. But it feels strange…It is something I can’t explain…

Good Men Exist!

After being played by random guys from time to time, girls end up questioning such silly questions:

• Do good men exist? Well, I believe they do.

• Where to find them? Earth, exactly!

The only reason why a whole bunch of women didn’t find them is because good men do not hang out much, rarely go to clubs or bar because they know it would be chaos. Good men stay at home, lay on coach, drink hot coffee, where they know it calms their mind because good men value their peace.

Good men also keep their circle of friends small. Psychologically, they could tell the differences between a good person and a bad person. They would prefer a small group of friends who value them the way they value their peace because they both value friendship.

Good men busy making money. He’s trying very hard to prove his worth, his responsibility by providing a good meal for his family and love one.

Most of the good men go to church, they pray. There are men out there who love others more than himself, who serve others, and serve and love God.

Good men learn daily. He reads, listens, observes, and keep trying.

Good men loves unconditionally. If he would about to ask you for a date, he made sure he must build a future with you; and your flaws doesn’t matter.

If these are the things that define your perspective of a ‘good men’ then yes, they do exist. But you’re not going to see them everywhere because while you busy wearing lipstick, he’s staying home and washing dishes. Or he’s sitting next to you, you just never pay attention to.

• How to get a good men? Sound a little stupid but it works…

Understand that no one is perfect. Be yourself, know your worth, and don’t try to impress any man over.

Flirt him back, because most of them don’t know how. Celebrates if he gives you a smile!

Beauty Standard

It’s a low-key embarrassing tho when society give attractive people more attention basically on their looks and physical appeal. Another thing that saddens me is, most women don’t think they are beautiful or by any chance, they don’t feel confident in their own beauty. I don’t know how many percentages of men think the same way, but I guess it’s a common sense for everybody since the concept of good looking still remain in ones’ heads.

However, there’s a different reflection on how men and women address on their body. Men; including me; generally give less f*cks on their physical appearance. Even if they are fat or look like a homeless person, men are trying to get things done quickly.

On the other hand, women have become conditioned to believing in the unrealistic standards of beauty set by society, of course some don’t. It goes like applying skincare, grooming your brow, curling hair, hydrating your lips, moisturizing, dressing nicely, and so on; women are convincing that they will need more than physical attraction to be attracted. That’s what the society has made us believe in, that’s what we are told. And ironically, most of us believe all this.

I agree on the point that you have to take care of your body, skin tones, facial features; but that doesn’t mean you MUST activate body plastic surgery just so you could think you look prettier. The case excepted on who have conditions like birth disorders, injuries, illnesses, or burns. It’s different between to look pretty and to feel comfortable on your body. Just think how many industries would go out of business if tomorrow women woke up and decided they really like their bodies. Just live ladies, it will pass. You don’t have to be drop dead gorgeous to get noticed.

Beauty has no standard. See yourself in the mirror, see all of it, look at all your greatness, accept it, and love it. Real beauty comes from within- the most beautiful people in the world are those who have a good heart.

Talk To Kids

Once again, I’m not an expertise. This is just my point of view and I don’t think my writing would ever deliver message to anybody. But for God’s sake, I really want to write.

So, the topic today is about kids. Why kids? Because why not!?

Well, I ain’t got no kid but I used to be a kid or; forever; I am. I just don’t know. But for my whole life, I see most kids and grown up teenagers don’t actually have deep enough conversations with their parents. Somehow, they prefer to keep their problems inside or would discuss it with somebody rather than their parents.

The problem is we don’t engage our children as much and they don’t articulate themselves very much. Try to listen to what they want to tell you and learn to interact so they would open up more. Kids won’t necessarily open up conversation on their own, we have to teach them to the point where they want to come and tell you what happens. For example, the child himself come and said, “I saw a dream.” You don’t even ask, “Do you see a dream?” That’s the kind of communication we want to facilitate with our kids.

A lot of times our children speak to us, and we give them one-word answers, supposed when they go, “Mom, what’s this? or Dad, look at this?” Then we’d just like, “Hmm… Okay.” It is no real conversation. And that’s the reason grown up teenagers rarely share things to their parents because they’ve experienced when they were kid that it’s no used. If you don’t listen to their silly words now, they won’t tell you big troubles later.

Beside, don’t talk to them like they’re babies. My relatives always have an attitude of making sounds as in cartoons because they think kids like it. Usually, they lie to them like all kids are foolish, some even bullied them as joke. And that’s how kids think it is normal to speak that way. Why don’t we learn to talk to them like they’re intelligent? Even if they’re just 5 years old, even if they don’t know how to respond. Just pretend, that’s how kids learn to behave when they speak.

Kids are just like white paper, they are easily manipulated. When you listen when they talk, they would listen when you talk. Talk to your kids in a professional way, speak to them intelligently. And you’d be surprised how quickly they learn to communicate intelligently.

Is Reading Really Important As You Thought?

I once worked in a bookstore which is in a city where there are lots of tourists since it is among the famous tourism site. From time to time, I see bookworms spent money on books more than they have spent on clothes.

Tell you the truth, it is far different between a feeling as a staff and customers. As consumer, I always consider if I like that stuff before I buy it; on the other hand; a seasonal employee as me give zero f*cks whether you like it or not. We care when you buy so we could reach our selling target. By the way, I really appreciate how marketing advertisement encourage people to read but somehow I feel strange for the fact that is it useful to read or is it just business?

Always ask myself why do I read? Am I falling in the trap?

Speaking of which, spending money for my own happiness is my life’s motto. Therefore, I’m trying to be optimistic and find some good reasons so I don’t feel bad about it.

1. I read because I have an obsession with quotes because other people are so much better at putting my feelings into words than I am. I’m not good at expressing how I feel, I can’t find the right word for that.
2. I read for inspirations. I lost sometimes. Thanks to the authors; the ink is not just ink, it is knowledge, experiences, blood, hard works, scarified. and/or deep thinking are combined. Beside basic needs, people need encouragement and motivation to keep them alive too.
3. Above all, I read to escape from the real world. I create a fantasy world in my mind and I live in my own imagination, I can tell it is wonderful right here.

For the sake of God, I still read and I still recommend my people to read. I’ve no longer care how much money I waste on books, because it is not wasted actually. It buried my soul and I feel good.